What should I know about you that I’d never think to ask about? Who was your favorite schoolteacher or college professor? Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. Great questions, asked well, give you and your date plenty of material to work with—and endless conversations to explore.So, what makes for a great question, as opposed to a dull back-and-forth? More important than the specifics of the question is your intention in asking it.The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information and asking follow-up questions to further draw out the one talking.
You find yourself on her Instagram, which is mostly beachy selfies and overheads of scones. Assume that at any given juncture your lover is thinking the absolute worst of you, and proceed accordingly.The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly.