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After two minutes of this pantomime we were allowed in to pay our £15 entrance fee.

'This better be good,' I joked as we walked down the stairs, emerging into a room full of not attractive young things but more men in overcoats. All the tables were empty, save for one old bloke with what looked like his daughter on a night out. At least Dick Turpin had the decency to wear a mask when he robbed people.


The last variant of the current Focus to be designed before its replacement arrives in the New Year.

Why should we stand at the bar if the place was empty, I said? Within ten minutes I had my answer: the place was heaving, full of millionaire twentysomethings who spend their Saturdays kicking a ball around and the rest of the week in here doing God knows what.

I stuck it for about five more minutes and left in a huff, tramping back up the stairs past all the teeth, tans and heels waiting for their chance to be an X-rated video clip on a footballer's phone.

Just as well, as any more nights like the other night and I'll be walking to work. 17in alloys, ABS with traction control, ESP with emergency brake assist, XDS electronic differential lock, sports suspension, cruise control, dual zone climate control, sports seats, leather steering wheel, gear-shift indicator, eight speaker radio/CD/MP3 player with steering wheel mounted controls, electric folding mirrors, fog lights with cornering function The car reviewed by James (above) may be Seat's hottest diesel, but it's a long way from being their hottest Leon, now that the order books are open for the new Leon Cupra R, at 265hp their most powerful production car ever.

Priced at £25,205, the five-door hatchback has a rear spoiler and diffuser, twin exhausts, bucket seats and 19in alloys - while its 2.0-litre four-cylinder petrol engine has had its turbo pressure boosted to produce a top speed of 155mph. (We got bored of writing about post-Scrappage deals.Whether it's my age I don't know, but I find myself going out far less than I used to.


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