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This question is exactly why I’m on a dating hiatus at the moment, since I just can’t bring myself to seek out a much older man, or play the cougar.

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I’ll be 42 in a couple of weeks, and in two years of online dating, I’d say about 70% of the people who write to me are fifty and over, often MUCH over.

I think the record so far is the 74-year-old who said he could have his daughter pick him up at the nursing home and bring him into the city if I were willing to meet for coffee. Your last line is telling, though, and hints at the broader trend. Unfortunately, it seems that all the men my age only want much younger women, which leaves me with the 20-somethings who think “MILF” is an appropriate subject line and write messages about being “into older women,” and the aforementioned geriatric (or borderline) set. If everyone is looking downstream, age-wise (except the few who have a “kink” for older types), where does that leave those of us who really are looking for a peer? Should I adjust my objectives to what the market has to offer?

Most 36-year-old women think you’re a dirty old man. This does not mean that you’re not a great guy with a ton to give and the purest intentions. I know you were looking for advice, Dale, so I don’t want to leave you without it. One, sign up with one of those successful men/younger women sites.

Now you’re going to get the same song and dance as every other guy who has written to complain about women on the Internet. So let’s say you’re a 36-year-old woman, entering the prime of your life. Yeah, 45 is a little old, you say, but you want to be open-minded. It’s that you’re failing to recognize what most younger women want. At least you know that a woman on Millionaire Match might be more willing to sacrifice youth for security.

By the time you have your first child, you’ll be 38 or 39. That’s not the kind of life you imagined for yourself or your children. Let’s just hope that they don’t discriminate against men their own age.

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